I have to testify to something amazing, not so radical to some but to me a big happening.
Remember when last year when I kept complaining that I didn't pray/read Bible, etc? Well it changed dramatically for the most part.
After discovering this wonderful PDF resource at: http://www.gfa.org/pray
I have seen prayer in a whole new light. Also at church our reverent's wife told us that when we pray, try not to pray in your head, pray with your mouth (not that there is anything wrong with it, it is more personal and focussed that way). I followed both people's advice (including the writer of the PDF doc) and so far I only missed like 2 or so days (maybe more, I wasn't counting) of prayer and meeting time with God in weeks, which is still a patch in comparison to the time I have missed with God!
I also started following a routine to meditate on the word of God that helps a bit. Instead of just reading the verses over and over, I tried reenacting it which helped me to remember it faster and longer. Proverbs 10:12,13,14,19 and Corinthians 6:19,20 was my nightly verses for meditation for 3 weeks now. Now I want to move over to new ones for nightly review.
The bad news also is that while I had experienced this break through, Satan wasn't too happy so he started tempting me with old temptations more than ever and more frequently, unfortunately I fell quite a few times as in more than I can afford to. As disappointed as I am, I haven't lost the will to stop going for God. I realize it's because I still have the tendency to leave Christ at home while I go to work. Not a very "Christian professional" thing to do but I won't make any excuses. It's in the programming, that needs some trimming ;) It sounds rather humorous but actually this is quite serious! :(
Despite me falling for the same temptations I hope you also have discovered something that might help you out in your Spiritual growth. Also, with that comes the price tag of temptation because Satan grows threatened about your progress and seeks ways to attack you. I hope you can succeed where I have failed. I still go on and believe that Christ can help me, I just want to stop removing Him from my mind.
The thing is, one is so sad when you come looking for forgiveness from Christ, but truth be told, He wants us to enter to His thrown of Grace with boldness. (KJVR Heb 4:16) "Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need." The problem with feeling bad is that you think that God doesn't want to talk to you or want anything to do with you. According to that verse, the opposite applies!
Well, good day to all and have a Blessed week!